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Year 0: That's Me, Distraught

by Bipole Moment

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1.
Mossy Stone 01:00
Oh, I am playing Minecraft, and I find a dungeon. There's a spinning spider thing; I press the pause button. I look it up online and I find just what I need. That was all a while ago, since then I did proceed. Oh, I've been making houses and I saw this mossy stone. I wanna use it to build but I can't make my own. No matter what the wiki says, it allows me not. It should make me mossy stone but now I am distraught. I'm distraught. That's me. Distraught.
2.
Sky Father 02:26
They're the ones that call me the sky. They say that I'm the fearless head. I know I'm a paramount guy, and I'm afraid to look ahead. My children are moving away, becoming who they want to be. I know I'm gonna be okay, but I know they're gonna change me. That's what you get for being a father. That's what you get for being a flaunt. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother if they just do what they want. To most of them, I'm still a leader. To these ones, a son of Time. I've got so many kids; call me a breeder The King of Gods and Men is in his prime. Other ones, they call me the thunderer. I can tell they love me the most. When I advise the king, it makes me wonder when I'm gonna give up the ghost. That's what you get for being a father. That's what you get for being a flaunt. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother if they just do what they want. I think that I may have been demoted. I am the mighty Allfather's son. To war and law and glory I'm devoted, and sad to say my mighty reign is done. I give the planet Jupiter its name. I was called Zeus by the Greeks. I was so big and bold; it's a shame but Tuesday's my day of the week. And that's what you get for being a father. That's what you get for being a flaunt. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother if they just do what they want.
3.
The Attic 01:55
At the top of my house is not just the mouse, there are other beings too. Things that bump in the night and give you a fright when they jump out and say 'boo'. As soon as night falls they come out the walls and Nothings come out of the floor. All the dead men, visible then, come up the stairs in the door. The ghosts start to dance with the undersized pants who come folded out their box. An old ghost named Nanna comes in her bandana and knits the cobwebs into socks. Then just before dawn the ghosts are all gone. They don't exist in the day. The Nothings, they fly high up in the sky, and the clothes put themselves away. Past boxes of book, back into their nooks, invisible journeymen creep. My room's right below where all of these go. That's why I never get sleep.
4.
Mr. Right 01:56
Oh my god! I see him open up the door. Out on the carpet with his shoes on the floor. The paparazzi flash their lights, everyone is screaming. Oh my god! Look at his smile! His shiny teeth are gleaming! I own all your things, I'm your biggest fan, I swear. From the bottom of my heart I'd sing an anthem to your hair. I've sent so many letters you should know my name by now. And you had better listen as I tell you how I'm the one that loves you most. You'll be mine, not theirs. Tell those other girls they're toast 'cause I'm the one that cares. I dream about you all the time and kiss your shrine goodnight. We can be partners in crime; I know you're Mr. Right. I have so much fan-fiction. I've made all the ships. All my posters of you have lipstick on their lips. Read articles about you, I know your every move. Your wife doesn't love you, and I know the truth, which is I'm the one that loves you most. You'll be mine, not theirs. Tell those other girls they're toast 'cause I'm the one that cares. I dream about you all the time and kiss your shrine goodnight. We can be partners in crime; I know you're Mr. Right. I can't even I can't even I can't even I can't even I can't even I can't even I can't even I can't even
5.
AFTERLIFE OUTERSPACE AFTERSPACE OUTERLIFE Fiction is filled with many ghosts: Movies to books and Tumblr posts. Many of them will give a scare, but really they are everywhere. Minecraft and Homestuck, Mario, Ghostbusters has them, you should know. A Christmas Carol, Casper too. So many ghosts I never knew. Thus, it should come as no surprise. I was confused; I closed my eyes. Thunder and lightning showed to me a spooky figure I could not see. There's a ghost in FEZ, There's a ghost in FEZ, FEZ, FEZ. There's a ghost in FEZ, There's a ghost in FEZ, FEZ, FEZ, FEZ, FEZ. They've got these hats and speak to you. Most of the time they are see-through. When I first found them, I had great joy; Felt like I did as a baby boy. There's a ghost in FEZ, There's a ghost in FEZ, FEZ, FEZ. There's a ghost in FEZ, There's a ghost in FEZ, FEZ, FEZ, FEZ, FEZ. DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPERCUBE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE SOMETHING, DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT THERE
6.
They call her a monster, but I call her mine. They tell me I am crazy, but our relationship is fine. I can see she loves me in that bright and glowing eye. Or by the moaning sounds to soothe me when I cry... Just because she's not the same doesn't mean I feel ashamed. You and I may not concur, doesn't mean I won't love her. They call her a demon, I call her my love. So what does it matter if she's below and not above. I'm the one who warms her skin with my kind embrace. I care for her despite all the shrieking in my face. I know she may hurt others for no reason at all. But maybe if you'd talk to her you'd learn she feels real small. She's a complex individual with hopes and fears and goals. You've got to have those feelings when you lead a horde of souls. Just because she's not the same doesn't mean I feel ashamed. You and I may not concur, doesn't mean I won't love her. They called her a monster, and now I cry all day. They took my girl, my love, my life, they took that all away. They called her a demon, but they never thought that someone would ever care for her; that it was all for naught.
7.
I'm healed, I'm free, the fever's finally gone. And I feel wonderful, and almost nothing's wrong. My throat's still a bit scratchy, but otherwise I'm fine. Much better than when I felt I was thrown on a mine, Like last Tuesday... I'm healed, I'm free, the fever's finally gone. And I feel wonderful, and almost nothing's wrong. Flag! The American Flag! Wavin' 'round up there. Flag! The American Flag! Wavin' 'round up there... Flag Day!
8.
Dumpster Cats, Dumpster Cats, Dumpster Cats, they never say never say never! Goin' around the town, there's mysteries to investigate. And we're always down and never ones to hesitate. Crazy old man? We've got him. Aliens? Yeah, we know. We'll bust into abandoned buildings and take care of evil ghosts! Yeah! Dumpster Cats, Dumpster Cats, Dumpster Cats, they never say never say never! Come on guys, one more time! Dumpster Cats, Dumpster Cats, Dumpster Cats, they never say never say never!
9.
10.
11.
I was found in a field in China, below the ground for none to see. Clay fragments, disregarded and minor, laying stagnant, but they found me. And many more, and many more, and many more, and many more, and many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, more. There's strength in numbers, and warriors we. Guarding our emperor for eternity. And one may say we look the same; our strength in numbers leads us to exclaim: We'll fight! Hold tight! We're not giving up! We're there! Don't dare! We're not giving up! All right! It can be hard being one of many. Be on your guard and work together. These are my brothers; I'd fight for any. With all the others, bound by a tether. There's strength in numbers, and warriors we. Guarding our emperor for eternity. And one may say we look the same; our strength in numbers leads us to exclaim: We'll fight! Hold tight! We're not giving up! We're there! Don't dare! We're not giving up! All right! All right!
12.
Invisible 01:58
Flick the switch, and blame it on the wiring. Knock a dish, and say it was the cat. You would think it would get a bit tiring, 'cause when a house settles, it sure don’t sound like that. I’m invisible, invisible, you can’t really see me but that’s not what I mean. I’m invisible, invisible, I'm just so lonely it makes me want to scream. I’ve tried hiding things but you’re so forgetful. You think you’ve put it down at some other place. The creepy moaning failed; my, it was regretful. You thought it was the neighbor. I’m such a disgrace. I’m invisible, invisible, you can’t really see me but that’s not what I mean. I’m invisible, invisible, I'm just so lonely it makes me want to scream. Maybe that’d get you to notice me. I’m laying the evidence in front of you. This skepticism’s becoming too much. Some company is overdue. I’m losing my more human touch. I’m invisible, invisible, you can’t really see me but that’s not what I mean. I’m invisible, invisible, I'm just so lonely it makes me want to scream. And no one will see me.
13.
Another time, another day, another thing I meant to say. Is there so much that I should know? What happens if I learn too slow? Think everyone's ahead of me; I'm back one step and they're up three. And while I know it's the first day, I wanna get this underway. How are you feeling? Έτσι κ'έτσι. How are you feeling? Έτσι κ'έτσι. How are you feeling? Έτσι κι έτσι. When you get the hang of things, it's like your soul stands up and sings. I should be patient to prevail, 'cause I can't learn unless I fail. But how much failure can I make? It's such a bitter pill to take. All my attempts just seem so sad. The basics never hurt so bad. How are you feeling? Έτσι κ'έτσι. How are you feeling? Έτσι κ'έτσι. How are you feeling? Έτσι κι έτσι. Better get better (Έτσι κ'έτσι) Better get better (Έτσι κ'έτσι) Better get better (Έτσι κι έτσι)
14.
Oh, it's the eve upon something great, and by great I mean big; one that changes fate. I know what it's like, need them out of your hair. The cat on the wall had your tongue, Hang in there! Do what you need to stay in shape. Please, feel free if you need to escape. Make a wise decision 'cause there's no going back. They're not gonna give you the slightest bit of slack. "Better together, or otherwise you're done," say the guys who threaten to rip you a new one. And while they may be valid, you think they're absurd. The only course of action is to let your voice be heard! Do what you need to stay in shape. Please, feel free if you need to escape. Make a wise decision, 'cause there's no going back. They're not gonna give you the slightest bit of slack. What you will do depends on you! What you will do depends on you! What you will do depends on you! What you will do depends on you! Handle this with tweezers, take it case by case . You know that it's different from place to place to place. Think about the future and what it's worth to you. Keep in mind everything that you have been through. Do what you need to stay in shape. Please, feel free if you need to escape. Make a wise decision 'cause there's no going back. They're not gonna give you the slightest bit of slack.
15.
The Letter V 01:16
The Romans gave the number 5 to the letter V. Then my buddy Aaron gave the letter V to me. What 5 things do I like that start with this non-vowel? Well, sit down and listen up as I tell you how: I like village signs made by deaf with many friends. The hearing people learn it and with speaking it contends. I like the word "vamoose". The "oose" sound is superb. The only English verb I know that comes from a Spanish verb. I really like Venetian too, spoken in Italy. It's closer to French than Italian though, and that's just cool to me. I like the name Vesuvius and the mount it represents. Pompeii won't agree with me because of past events. And the last one's one of my favorite games: VVVVVV. You can't jump, but flip upside down, and it's difficult as can be.
16.
Cool Beans 01:07
17.
30 Days 03:28
At what point is an experiment just not worth the cost? When the answers that I'm finding would be better if lost. Some things I shouldn't know, but if already known, why do I endure it if I've already grown? If you've learned from your mistakes, don't make them again. But I'm left here wondering, what will I say then? 30 Days. Why are things unstable? Why do my opinions switch? We're already halfway done and I'm still clueless as to which. Please tell me that you realize I'm different every day, and you're not helping indecision go in either way. If you’ve learned from your mistakes, don’t make them again. But I’m left here wondering, what will I say then? 30 Days. I stand here like Marie Curie; I love you but you’re killing me. And though these birds no longer fly, it still holds true they'll never die. So why make a decision if you can let the feelings go? Become a bigger person but let the other know. Don't make those rash decisions, solve them over time. Let not emotions sway you when they’re still in their prime. If I’ve learned from my mistakes, I won’t make them again. I’m no longer wondering what happens in the end. 30 Days.
18.
There's something in the food at school. It's some kind of spice, it tastes really nice. What it does to you isn't cool. It makes your mouth hot, then you're on the pot. It's salty and red and spicy and good; they put it on all the more decent food. I'm allergic to a spice, some spice; don't know what it is. It's better on taters or rice than chicken or turkey or grits. I love it, but it hates me. I watch out to not eat too much. I have trouble walking, I have trouble talking. It seems like I need a crutch. My stomach starts heaving, I have trouble breathing. I know I'm allergic but what should I do? I don't know it's there till I'm all the way through. I'm allergic to a spice, some spice; don't know what it is. It's better on taters or rice than chicken or turkey or grits. I love it, but it hates me.
19.
Moving Day 01:05
20.
Russkij 00:40
21.
Oh, I'm the new lackey, and he is Captain Jones. We're the new crew of the Fenester II and together and over we fly. It may seem wacky, but it's better than being alone. And though it's true we're completely see-through, we're still quite a sight to spy. Yes, we fight monsters and then fly off with their loot. But it makes me ponder is there not a shorter route? We're flying over mountains, how beautiful the trees, but we need to get to the sea. Some will attack us; the heathens strike the glass. But it's remained that we are double-paned, so I try not to worry that much. They'll wallop and whack us, but in the end we pass. It's never explained how our safety's maintained; it's just we have fortune's touch. No one can get near us! We care not of kindness or love! Everyone screams how they fear us, the menacing pirates above! I still await that far day when at last I'm free, so we need to get to the sea. And far away, a mother cries, her little boy is gone. He's in danger's fearsome grip on neither sea nor land. So, she watches to the skies as, with his cutlass drawn, he then descends down from his ship as a hearty man. And while I love my duty, I miss my mother's arms. Though with this window comes booty, there are so many harms! And while it was an adventure, this journey's it for me. So we need to get to the sea. We need to get to the sea.
22.
You've got me sick, I've got to run, but there's nowhere I can hide. I'll build myself a sacred place; I'll build a door and I'll sit inside, and it'll take me far away, to another time, another day. Here in the future they've got better cars, and nicer homes, and kinder views. Here in the future there are dinosaurs, robotic lives, and flying shoes! Here in the future there's no you. This place is great; I feel so high going at Mach 12 up in the sky. I never knew just quite how free, with separation 'tween you and me. And while I may be sad, things are better than I've ever had. Here in the future they've got better cars, and nicer homes, and kinder views. Here in the future there are dinosaurs, robotic lives, and flying shoes! Here in the future there's no you. And while I've seen all history, and I’m sure you’re missin’ me, I know it’s for the best. We both needed a rest. It wasn’t gonna happen right, a never-ending, useless fight. And that shouldn’t be ours. It’s just not in the stars! While all of time is so vast, I never really liked the past. It’s highly likely I’m gonna stay the more the memories fade away. And I wish you the best. But now I'm off for my own quest! Here in the future they've got better cars, and nicer homes, and kinder views. Here in the future there are dinosaurs, robotic lives, and flying shoes! Here in the future there's no you.
23.
Shy 00:59
24.
Caesar 02:29
Life is unfair for everyone, no matter if you've lost or won, and they've been losing me. I live the block, nine to five, the Senate on my left side, all under me. I hear the whispers from down the hall. "What would happen if he were to fall?" I'd be scared to know. Are you sure you wanna go with this? I see this as a hit and miss. And I don't want this to end, and to think I call you my friend. The meeting starts, we go over the minutes. It's just the standard old and new business but something else has changed. We start to yell, you pull me down, and as I lay there on the ground, I feel something quite strange. Are you sure you wanna go with this? I see this as a hit and miss. And I don't want this to end, and to think I call you my friend. Despite all the stabbing, only one took the man. I wish you luck, for I ruled the land, and that itself was hard. Don't go destroying all that I've done, for all that I've conquered, all the wars that I've won. This is no wild card. Are you sure you wanna go with this? I see this as a hit and miss. And I don't want this to end, and to think I call you my friend. And to think I call you my friend. But I'm glad it had to end.
25.
26.
I saw my first star in months today. A beacon shining its heavenly light on everything that was in its way. It made for such a stellar night. Sing a song of happiness, you can't be out of tune. Just please do not stop trying; Winter's over soon. The sun has been out infrequently; an overcast on everyone. You shan't let that discourage you, because the dark can be such fun. Sing a song of happiness, you can't be out of tune. Just please do not stop trying; Winter's over soon. The forecast calls for icy chills, but let that star be your guide. While the world may instafreeze, there is still some warmth inside. Sing a song of happiness, you can't be out of tune. Just please don't stop trying; Winter's over soon.
27.
People, they're staring, they laugh and say I'm dumb. No one is caring that I'm having such fun. No one can see him, they all say he's not there. He says, "Ignore them." He tells me to not care. I won't believe you. I don't care what you all think, I know he's real to me. Out on the playground, we're having a great time. Kids will come over and take what I know's mine. I try to fight back, Mom tells me I've been bad. I guess they never had friends just like I had. You can't affect me. I don't care what you all think, I know he's real to me. Mama, she promises one day I’ll grow up. I’m really hoping that it never shows up. From what I’ve seen, life only gets worse then ends. That’s why you sometimes have to make your own friends. I won't believe you. I don't care what you all think, I know he's real to me. I don't care what you all think, I know he's real to me.

about

On May 3rd, 2014, I tried making music.
I couldn't get my head into it though. I had been grinding on it pretty hard and getting nowhere, so I decided to take a break.
I opened up Minecraft, because I would build houses to pass the time. Each house was different, and I would always look for materials first. I opened up my inventory, and saw some moss stone. I thought it would be fun to make a building - maybe a temple - out of that. I looked up the formula to make moss stone, and, lo and behold, it won't work for me.

I didn't know what was wrong. I got very frustrated. I tried and tried, and in the end, nothing worked. I exited Minecraft in frustration.

I looked over at my ukulele. I wrote a song about it. I felt so good about the song that I decided it needed a video. I made one, and released my very first YouTube video.
That night, I showed it to my friends, and they all thought it was pretty good. But the person who felt the best about it was myself. I got such a rush making something, and being able to share it with the world that I wanted to make something every day.

The previous October I had made a pixel monster every day. It was so much fun, but I stopped after a handful of days. I became busy, and slipped up. I remembered how much fun it was. I thought of one of my biggest heroes, Jonathan Mann, and how he wrote a song every day. I didn't think I had the musical talent to write a song every day (I still don't), and I had a lot of artistic skills to hone in on. Songs would be just one of the many different types of things I would make.

So I started, and as of the date of this publication, I have completed 365 things.

These are the songs I've written in the past year. They're an eclectic bunch, from the first day of college and breaking up to spice allergies and the letter 'V'. And of course, it all starts with a song about Minecraft.

credits

released May 3, 2015

Album art drawn by Emily MacIntyre (mylameinternethome.tumblr.com)

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